life is full of BOREDOM

2010-10-30T14:08:00.001+08:00

P.S. LOVE YOU STILL...

love dun exist.

2010-10-23T00:08:00.006+08:00

I dunno what went wrong wit me. i dun even noe whats wrong wit me. i need you bt i dun want anyone to be around me. i wanna be alone.bt i dun think so i can be left alone. wtf!! just whats wrong wit me?...why am i reacting this way?

.................

finally.....i manage to let it out everything. i dunno how long i been holding up these tears. i just cant do this animore..i miss him so badly. the love that i dun get it in return. our love came from different frequency i can say. i believe he wont understand the meaning behind it. never will. why? why you have to betray it. i love you more den i love anything else in this world. i dun even care if one day you would beat me up till i'm dying to bleed. atleast i noe that i live to love you. but why?loving two women at the same time? will that satisfy you. how i wish my late sweetheart is still breathing..wishing that when i look at her,its like seeing you in another form. i always said that,she will have your round alluring eyes,your nose,ears and as naughty as you. so seeing her everytime will make me feels that ure still around me. everyday of my daily life is all bout you. how could i even living it everyday without you out of my mind. i was wrong. i'm not strong enough to do this. i put a false front just to make myself feel okay. so no one could annoyed me everytime when they asked bout me. every night, either you would just read me bedtime stories or sing me lullaby and cradle me to sleep. i know....i was too pampered by you. but knowing that your love was shared with another woman, where am i? which part of your heart that i been placed? YOU'RE THE MAIN PERSON THAT CREATED HATRED!!. its sucks to be in the situation where, you love someone whole heartedly but you just cant be with him/her. Why??...why god created LOVE if love never exist. :')

Label: i wish that you would just leave, cos your presence still lingers here....

2010-10-15T13:13:00.002+08:00

Have you ever did something tat you dun wish to do but you left wit no choice but you have to? If loving him is letting him go,.....yes im letting him go. How amazing i can still love him wit whats left of tis little pieces of my heart. I wish he knew tat deep in me, deres a part of me still thinking of him. I knew last nite, the decision i took.......was something i knew i cant turn and look back. I juz cant stand any dissapointing faces. Not animore. Every morning waking up, looking at you how peacefully you were asleep, smile and reminding myself that how greatful i am that GOD send me sumone like you. This i promise you that i'll love you wit whats left of me,wholeheartedly. i love you...baby. :')

Label: sweetheart...how mummy wish tat ure still around..

Matahariku

2010-10-15T12:35:00.003+08:00

Matahariku

Tertutup sudah pintu...pintu hatiku
Yang pernah dibuka, waktu hanya untukmu
Kini kau pergi dari hidupku
Ku harus relakanmu walau aku tak mau

Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergenting mmenjauh pergi
Tak ada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi

Dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku
Ku bersedih kerna panah cinta menusuk jantungku
Ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku
Tentangku yang tak mampu menaklukan waktu

2010-10-13T01:15:00.005+08:00

Its tomorrow!! the day tat i been waiting for...i was overwhelm by myself. Could not believe tat i really manage to make it. I am so excited to see you.

Label: to be in your arms after so long.....what can i ask more,tats where i feel so secure and longing.♥

day dreaming...

2010-10-11T15:12:00.002+08:00

I wanna live in a BIG cottage house wit a balcony that have a lake in the view where i can have breakfast wit my husband, a garden where my babies could chase my cats and rabbits around and a cosy living room for me to wait for my husband to come back home from work...
baby....take me wit you. take me to anywhere we could leave everything behind. for all i knew, we are happy together till we turn old and grey.

Label: i wld like my babies to have curly brown hair, rosy cheeks and pink lips. Cute!

Keep it up lynn.

2010-10-11T14:33:00.003+08:00

I can see tat i'm managing well and gettin better in times to come. Spending most of my time loads wit all my gurfrens. Sorry bitches..i noe i been missing for quite sumtimes. its not sumtimes actually but ages. Anyway......tis few days i've been gettin myself so tight up and busy wit stuff. The point is, gettin myself shag and kept me frm thinking. Well.......i can say its pretty hard for me to handle tis and facing it. But yeah i manage to survive it. But the onli thing tat i got sick n tired of is...having to do the same routine every 4hrs of my day.urggh! i noe it sick rite.

Label: feel so good to be positive. Prolly i've never been.. :)

moving on..

2010-10-07T13:18:00.003+08:00

I believe it now. everything happen for a reason. god is great. HE must have a reason behind all tis. truth hurts. yes it is. stab deeply right through my heart. i'm falling all apart. lost and confused. i'm picking myself up. bit by bit. pieces by pieces. now all i can do is to keep praying and hv faith in him. cos i know he will guide me and give me the strength to face it.

GOD heard my prayers.......and send me an angel from above. :')
tis angel got closed. not to me but to my heart.
and tis angel is no other but...you.

p.s. Baby darling..i know you love me as how much i love you. mummy sorry tat i put you thru tis. You must be one of a kind tat hes taking you wit him. I believe there's an angel up there is looking after you.

wit love,
mummy.

Till my last breath..

2010-09-30T19:28:00.003+08:00

Everytime when you look at me with love in your eyes and how much you adore me,
I look at you, asking, how lucky i am to have you in my life. Someone that love me more than i love myself. He's someone that i'm sure to be my faithful husband in future to come. You pick up the little pieces of my heart that what is left. This i promise you.....that i will love you till my last breath.

Label: don't worry sweetheart, mummy here and sure that everything gonna be alright. ♥

2010-09-30T19:04:00.005+08:00

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right, forgot about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason..
If u got the second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

XXXXX

Weird how i wrote this in my own blog on my left column. Now it really reflects back to me. Well...prolly i have to accept the facts now that, the one that i love the most is the one that gonna hurt me the most. How amazing..even with that little pieces of my heart, i can even love you whole heartedly.

2010-02-03T17:50:00.003+08:00

You're everything I thought you never were
Ain't nothing like a thought could have been
Still, you live inside of me
So tell me how is that

You're the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I love to not forgive
And though you break my heart
You're the only one

And though there are times when I hate you
'Cause I can't erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to sayI know I'll be there
At the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't wanna love you
In no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart
I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But untill now I've always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I wanna put this out

You say you got the most respect for me but
Sometimes I feel you're not deserved of me
And still you're in my heart
But you're the only one

And yes, there are times when I hate you
But I don't complain
'Cause I've been afraid that
You would walk away

Oh but now I don't hate you I'm happy to say
That I will be there
At the end of the day

I don't wanna be without you
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you
I don't wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don't wanna love you

In no kind of way, no no
I don't want a broken heart

I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No, no, no broken-hearted girl

Now I met a place I thought I'd never be, oh
I'm living in a world whereas all about you and me, yeah
And I won't be afraid, my broken heart as free
To spread my wings and fly away, away with you

p.s. i still love you..
like i promised.

2010-01-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

i juz woke up from ma sleep.
everytink seem so real.
yet every single thing still lingers in ma head.
now tat im wide awake, im gonna stand up and be strong.

im moving on to the light..
where he can see me..see me clear.

wadever been done is gone.
i take it like juz a dream.
a dream tat i never been expected.

2010-01-11T12:00:00.001+08:00

wat the hell!
im farkin still wide awake..
i dun even get to slip.and now i have to get ready for work.
all the best lynn at work.hah

2010-01-11T08:25:00.000+08:00

fark cos im still awake..
workin later in the evening and i really need atleast 6-8hrs of slip. -_-'

thank you mr. iceman

2010-01-11T06:06:00.003+08:00

why do i have to wake up at tis hour?..
the best thing is tat, i realised i was cryin in ma slip.
and now how hard i tried to get back to slip, i noe i cant.
neither i get much slip nor eatin right tis few days.
and all thanks to 'ice-man'.
but i need him. cos i been too caught up workin and keep fallin sick.
so he helps me alot. so i can still keep on goin.

Label: she got 1 week left..

2010-01-08T16:49:00.001+08:00

TOTALLY sucks BIG time!!

it sucks to be me though.

p.s. they call me full-time ;♥ breaker. yea tats me.

2010-01-08T16:43:00.002+08:00

how long i have to be tis way?
how long i have to hide?
could it be better?
could it be sulkier?

i dun need you.
not animore.
i mean it.
yes indeed i dun need you ever.

label: mum need me at tis point of time..

why?

2010-01-06T10:24:00.000+08:00

Mum was not in really good state.shes really not stable in doin any daily activities yet..im gettin worried and not knowing and sure wat to do now.
why? why it have to turn out tis way?

Dear God,....
please...make me strong and help me face tis..
i need ur guidance and show me the right way.amin.

critically ashamed.

2010-01-06T09:50:00.002+08:00

When i care,you said im not.im not being myself and it was juz saying,and no actions.maybe i tried too hard.too hard too believe tat im really doin it.honestly i got no time to play tis game aite.im gettin sick of it.gettin sick of me always the one whos tryin to take care of others feelings.things juz gettin out of hand.claiming tat u wanna help by tryin to understand me or supporting me? which from the day one you never have.i dun need financially support or wadever fark from anyone..cos i been doin it myself alone wit all ma hardwork.all im farkin need from you is juz mentally support.tats wat i need the most.but do you even understand wat i been through? no you farkin dont.i juz need sum space and time for myself.cant u put tat in ur numbSkull? all tis while nobody been dere for me,so i dun need anyone's sympathy cos tat will onli make me sick to core.

Label: PLEASE....i need every single one to leave me alone.period.

2010-01-05T07:57:00.002+08:00

i linger in the doorway
of alarm clock screaming
monsters calling my name
let me stay
where the wind will whisper to me
where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

dont say im out of touch
with this rampant chaos, your reality
i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
the nightmare i built my own world to escape

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
oh, how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light

~imaginary

it juz happen..

2010-01-05T05:02:00.000+08:00

why u even care in the first place?
i screwed up everytink rite.i noe.

Label:dont bother..

lost.

2010-01-04T06:14:00.003+08:00

Just go away...

im far of better alone.

SO LEAVE ME ALONE!

blowing bubbles.

2009-12-19T08:43:00.000+08:00

pen-work: eri♥

edit: lynn

credit: eri♥

morning lullabies.

2009-12-19T08:05:00.003+08:00

yesterday
i woke up
with your head on my arm
my hand was numb
circulation gone
but i dared not move
the pretty sleeping one

the sun had painted
patterns on your face
as you breathe sunday air

rode on to my open arms
i became your pillow
you let me smooth your hair

i will sing you morning lullabies
you are beautiful, and peaceful this way

i know you have to close your eyes
on everyone, let me help you,
i'll sing you to sleep
with morning lullabies

let me lie in the curve
of your body tonight
and i will hear you
tumble into sleep
i will watch you heal
i will watch you heal with me

i will sing you morning lullabies
you are beautiful, and peaceful this way
i know you have to close your eyes on everyone
let me help you, ill sing you to sleep
with morning lullabies

i know you have to close your eyes on everyone
let me help you
i'll sing you to sleep
with morning lullabye..bye baby

close your eyes
and i will sing you
morning lullabies

~morning lullabies

words cant describe.

2009-12-17T16:25:00.003+08:00

Label: its not just a 3 simple words...

words juz cant describe ma love for you.

[edited]

karma

2009-12-14T22:43:00.001+08:00

Everytime when its rain...
i always wish that its gonna wash my pain.
i was hurt.
i feels just like a dirt.

Im trying to love you..and still trying.
and all this while, all i do is crying.
So, alone i have to do it...to be strong
cos' i know better, its not you but him all along.

maybe i was wrong..
maybe i was right..
is it a mistake?
is it a biggest mistake of my life?

p.s. why do i need to live in regret?..

LOST.

2009-12-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

Indeed..yes im lost.
where should i turn?
where?
yes im lost..

Label: used to be the one who waited for u in the rain....

2009-11-30T17:44:00.001+08:00

Turn the lights on

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you
When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you
(Turn the lights on)

I mention you when I say my prayers
I wrap you around all of my thoughts
Boy you're my temporary high

I wish that when I wake up you're there
To wrap your arms around me for real
And tell me you'll stay by side

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you

Tattoo your name across my heart so it will remain
Not even death can make us part
What kind of dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true

~Sweet Dreams

christmas wish.

2009-11-30T17:22:00.001+08:00

Volcom stitch beanie.

Volcom girls pacific beanie.

Volcom girls elate beanie.
Von Zipper elmore sunglasses.

SUPRA

Supra skytop TUF green.
Supra skytop grey.

TOP 3 wishlist:

1. Volcom Beanie

2. VonZipper Shades

3. SUPRA sneakers

Label: and i want you for christmas..

Rihanna - Cry

2009-11-18T14:21:00.004+08:00

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'Cos I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they loved me truly
But at the time it didnt mean a thing

My mind is gone
I'm spinning round
And deep inside
My tears i'll drown
I'm loosing grip
What's happening?
I stray from love
This is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what
You'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kiss?
Cos it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cos we spent so much time
And I know that is no more
I should have never let you hold me baby
Maybe why im sad to see us apart
I didn't give it to you on purpose
can't figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone
I'm spinning round
And deep inside
My tears i'll drown
I'm loosing grip
What's happening?
I stray from love
This is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what
You'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you
I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do
To stay away from love with you
I'm broken-hearted
I can't let you know
And I Won't Let It Show
You won't see me cry

~ cry

TRICK or treat!!

2009-11-01T06:12:00.000+08:00

HELL-loo-ween was awesome i can say but fark up at the same time. party and work. its great. pics to be upload soon i guess..

Label: missing u already okay..

lame game.

2009-10-31T11:55:00.000+08:00

You know what...well i guess if tis will make you thrill den lets do it. I will play your game aite..i aint no rush in the game. Once im done laying all ma play cards..den i guess its time. Cos i got nothing left of me. I will fade away without you knowing it. And dun blame me for anitink cos i did play the game right. I leave only when im done with my cards..thats the rule.

Label: its sickening okay..

2009-10-25T05:21:00.000+08:00

wats happenin to me??...i miss him okay.fark.yess i do..badlllyyy....

Label: for fark i may sounds desperate but im NOT!
do u even care?

2009-10-24T02:27:00.002+08:00

the first kiss

the first kiss that i wish it never last
as the world spin around me..
everything seems too fast,
with you, thats where i wanna be.

you pulled me closed to you
and your smell filled the air..
the smell that makes me high each time
and that makes me addicted to you.

your kiss....
the sweet taste of your lips..
love the way how it feels so right on my lips.

i prayed.and GOD heard my prayers
and send me an angel from the heavens' above.
tis angel came from nowhere,and in no time got close,
not to me but to my heart.

as days pass....
i started to learn how to fall again.
not to anyone but to this angel
and this angel is no other but you.

♥lynn

label: i realise i kept checkin ma mobile every now n den.
i dunno why i kept waiting..bt i guess i'll juz wait.

fall for you..

2009-10-23T06:51:00.000+08:00

for the first time in a long time,
i felt so happy, so rejoiced.
you showed me there was hope after tragedy.
you became my bestfriend.

sometimes i wonder if life is really worth it,
then i look at your smile and i know it is.

the times we laughed and the times we shared,
were priceless beyond anything i could imagine.
we never knew the meaning of uncertainty and difficulty
and you taught me new ways of life

you made me feel like i could trust and love again.
i was caught.

maybe today...
you'll look at me the way you did yesterday,
when all my faults were set aside
and for once, i felt perfect.

maybe today...
my cheeks wont hurt from the amount of smiles you place on my face
and the amount of butterflies
you create in my tummy..

a broken heart is what i feel
it leads to flowing tears
the sorrow from this loneliness
gives way to deeper fears..
i'm hurt inside from losing you

i should have known better than to fall in love with you
its all just a fading memory
i should have known nothing would come of this
i should have known you wouldn't catch me
i should have known you would leave me

in the absence of your love...
my happiness has gone.

if you're asking if i want you now..
then you're all wrong.
cos' i dont want you
but i need you ma love.

Label: Juz leave and dun ever come back..
Juz leave me like what everyone did.

bitter heart

2009-10-22T08:26:00.002+08:00

bitter H.E.A.R.T.

so far it is to feel your heart
especially when play our games apart.
trying to understand you...and never will..
for you,this broken heart will heal.

with you this heart im lost to you
with you this heart where i want to be
yes i do...
cos' nothing have left of me.

ever since the day you came,
things wont be the same..
the dreams i dream,that all involve you
the possibilities i see and the things we can do

the way your eyes shine when you look at me,
lost with you forever is where i want to be.
the way that i feel when you're by my side
a sense of completion and overwhelming pride

so far it is to feel your heart
especially when we play our games apart.
trying to understand you...and never will..
for you this broken heart will heal.

So with this lost soul.....lost heart..
knowing that loving you,i find so hard.

p.s. its not what i intend to write actually..
mine or your perspective? confuse.

slipped away..

maybe if it didnt happen,things gonna be different now.the day i dont feel you animore.the day i know that you gonna fade away.and you left...without a word and not convincing enough for a reason that i can accept for the facts which i know ur lying to me and worst..to YOURSELF.

i always needed time on my own..and never thought tat i badly need you there when i cry.you make me believe in myself .make me strong.told me everythings gonna be alright when times are bad.you wld be there for me be it up or down moments.totally pamper me.shower me with your unconditional love.you told me that u wld love me and no one cld ever replace me..why? why you have to lie? why wld you do that?

dont want it to be you for the reason for me to be this way...
but i guess its you that can pick up the pieces left of me.

Label: if you had to leave,i wish that you would juz leave.

guilty concious.

2009-10-20T00:39:00.000+08:00

im just so helpless..dwelling on past pain, heartbreak or loss will leaves me vulnerable to further attack or reopens old wounds. it can ultimately consume me, particularly if it is ma own heart that has betrayed myself. thoughts of getting even will make things worse. taking each betrayal or loss too personally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy so that when i do finally let down my guard and trust again, i can find myself embroiled in the same emotional drama i vowed to avoid. being on the defensive or carrying a chip on my shoulder practically ensures tension or wounded pride and ma self-esteem may suffer as a result. certain loss is irrevocable. the ensuing crisis can be a turning point for ma relationship or love life, but only if i am willing to let go and take a chance.

p.s. Should i?

Label: moving on is what i wanted to..
but am afraid to because of you.

2009-10-17T05:06:00.000+08:00

its totally sucks to be me though...

~it may be just a lil tiny white pebble..but that keeps me moving..

2009-10-17T02:54:00.000+08:00

Im tired of being here, surpressed by all my childish fears.
-can i juz spend the whole night crying?
cos i noe im gonna be alright..

Lookin out over...
blocks of terraces,
line of trees..
speeding cars,
soothing sound of the wind,
cricking crickets..
ships horning thru the night(not kelloggs boat)
under the dark sky,
counting & gazing stars..

one day not gonna be alone..
but together with you, i wanna bring you..
to where we can lie, under the dark sky,
like i always daydreamin of..in our own bubble
gazing stars, blabbering shits,laugh till we cry..

this....i promise you.

Label: If i told you that all i ever wanted to do was to run
into ur arms and kiss you in the pouring rain...
Would you believe me?

the reason is you.

2009-10-16T20:19:00.001+08:00

ample waves, soft breeze..
as kelloggs boat passing by...
where laughter is timeless,
with tears rolling..
and drifting to our own bubble.
wishing that the whole night could be ours.

there shouldnt be a reason to be with you.
cos all i knew that if there is..
the reason is you...

strange feelings..
i feel that ur special..
special in a way..
i felt that ur honest..
honest in a way..
i felt that ur sincere..
sincere in a way..
in a way that sumone must appreciate...yes..appreciate..

i feel you...yes..you made me feel you.
work is great..great seeing you.
your presence..near or far..i feel you.
days goes by..there's sumtink about you.
days goes by...i got to know you.

so whats more the reason could it be...

Label: still figuring it out..

2009-10-15T05:30:00.000+08:00

im goin crazyyy!!..sooner or later. Juz came back from work and i got less den 4hrs to start ma murnin job..

Label: addicted to you...

2009-10-14T14:44:00.000+08:00

Sounds crazy...but yea..i guess i juz did it again..

Label: you decide..

losing someone is my BIGGEST fear..

2009-10-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

All i want is for you to be happy..its really hurt me so, looking at you tis way..feelin helpless and useless when i noe i cant do anitink bout it. I dun want to be wit you for onli good times but also for bad times. I never ever feel tat ur a burden to me..cos you, my friend, ur someone very close to ma heart even though i was busy wit ma schedule and stuff..glad you understand tat. Dun ever tink tat i neglect you..cos i noe..i dun want to lose you like i lose someone dear to me..the hurting part is tat, she had ma replacement..

So ma love, remember tat in terms of bad times, deres always someone out dere will be dere and wanted to be dere for you..not onli me but you always have ur family and ur love ones to be wit. I noe you as a strong person and can face up wit any obsticles. Dun let anitink comes in ur way. Concentrate in wat ur achieving for..and go for it. I noe you can do it. Cheer up babe!

Herny Natra....u'll always be someone very dear to me. and will always do. Love you bitch.

^.^"

2009-10-10T03:07:00.000+08:00

Okay i cant sleep thinking bout tis...

Why we women are born to be a selfish creature? i dunno why but i noe its bothering me....fark.

the bitch is back..

2009-10-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

Label: You yet to know me..

The BITCH is back.

confused...VERY.

2009-10-09T00:35:00.000+08:00

Dear Azlini,

Here is your love horoscope for Thursday, October 8:

Double lives are best left to superheroes. Don't be one person with your sweetie when it's just the two of you, and then act like someone else when you're with a group. Be yourself all the time.

Label: i love us..

2009-10-07T03:40:00.000+08:00

Too desperate to stop these tears tat kept shedding over again..and all i could think of is ma dad. i really hate it when i felt tis way....could i juz fade away...juz fade away and disappear. the feelin of ripping ma heart..and yell ma lungs out. slit it again and again...sight of blood and the sweet taste of pleasure and satisfaction..

Label: As the world passing by...
its like book with empty pages..

2009-10-06T15:29:00.002+08:00

many people will walk in and out of ur life, but only true friends will always leave footprints in ur heart. to handle yourself, use ur head; to handle others, use ur heart. anger is only one letter short of danger. if someone betrays you one, it is his fault; if he betrays you twice, it is ur fault. great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. he who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all. beautiful young people are accidents of nature, beautiful old people are works of art. learn from the mistakes of others. you cant live long enough to make them all by yourself. yesterday is history. today is a gift. tomorrow is mystery. thats why they call it the present.

2009-10-05T04:24:00.000+08:00

Nothing much i can say
as i put up both my hands and pray,
GOD...please make me strong..
forever love is what i longed.

Foolish games.

2009-10-05T00:32:00.003+08:00

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.
And I watched from my window,
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.
You're always the mysterious one with
Dark eyes and careless hair,
You were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather.

Well in case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you,
This is me down on my knees..

These foolish games are tearing me apart,
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
You're breaking my heart..

You're always brilliant in the morning,
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.
Your philosophies on art,
Baroque moved you.
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar.

You'd teach me of honest things,
Things that were daring, things that were clean.
Things that knew what an honest dollar did bring.
I hid my soiled hands behind my back.
Somewhere along the line, I must've got Off track with you.

Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
Somebody who gave a damn, Somebody more like myself.

You took your coat off,
You stood in the rain,
You're always crazy like that.

Label: Lost somewhere....somewhere out there..

crushCRUSHcrush...

2009-10-02T23:18:00.004+08:00

whats wrong wit me today?? Juz because of 'something' tat can really make me feel so down. And i mean really down. Am i being too sensitive today?

There was time when u picked up pieces of me...bit by bit..
Leaving me to trust u to be able to.
And now..there i go..left broken again.
Pieces of ME.
Was not left to be pick up again,but i, myself need to do it.
Alone i must do it...and im gonna stand up stronger tis time..

p.s. Moving on is what i wanna do,
but afraid to bcos of u..

27/09/09

2009-09-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

Happy BitchhY DaYy!!

Label: Thanks babe for these day...luv u bitches!!

why?

2009-09-30T19:23:00.003+08:00

Why waste your time when u noe its not worth waiting or worth doing it in the first place?..i juz cant force myself to fall for sumone rite...

At times when i feel down, all i want is for tat sumone to be dere for me and at the same time i wanna be alone..i appreciate it if u wld be dere and juz watch me cry. And by doin tat,u can make me feel tat its gonna be alrite.

p.s. Maybe ur rite..its hard pleasing me..

I didnt expect..

2009-09-29T01:12:00.002+08:00

It happen long ago a love i didnt ever expect,

love i didnt seek but now i cant neglect....

p.s. sick and tired!

Juz a year older.

2009-09-27T06:35:00.000+08:00

Juz gettin a year older today. Fark its no big deal aite. Im legally turned 21 today. Which means im gettin older. yess!..im OLD!..How nice issit to be workin on ma bdae. Juz reach home from work btw. Le Noir was fun today. New environment, new colleagues, new customers. And yes, not to forget..the customers at Le Noir is far better then customers back in Alleybar. Still considering whether to continue workin in night life..*sigh*

p.s. Anyway please please stop reminding me tat im turnin 21 today. Cos its really irritates me wit all the txt messages, wit all the bdae wishes in it. You people really flood ma inbox alr.damn it.

LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE....life=sucks

2009-09-22T05:30:00.001+08:00

I live for ma life and struggle for myself and ma family. So i dun need for people to tell me to do tis n tat which really irrritates me.fark all u people. I'll prove to you people tat ur wrong. Been goin back late tis few days after work juz to get away from them. Reasons tat i gave: I extend ma workin hours. Juz gettin sick n tired of all these shit. Why shld i really care bout these people in the first place when they dun even give a shit to me..juz at times when i really feel like strangle myself to death.urrggh!..anyway im not workin in the murnin..so who cares whether im gonna wake up in the murnin. BUT......hoping no one gonna visit ma place..im juz cant be bothered to entertain anyone. So the onli conclusion is...to cabot from ma place before anyone comes..

I still believe tat in everyday lives...people will cum n go. Like i dun give a damn now. Dun ever say that friends are fake. Cos i guess ur the one which is not sincere n the fake one i guess. Men are born to be the biggest ego JERKS. And women is the most selfish biatch. Anyway im not tryin to be over sensitive or wat so ever..but i guess u shld be the one who look from the different point of view why i reacted tis way..i dun go around tellin people tat 'hey,im very sincere in watever i do or bla bla bla'..sumtimes u dun hv to show it or tell..cos it all in ur heart.and only lord knows so u cant judge it. So dun tell me tat im over sensitive and its real hard to please me or vice versa...learn to understand urself first and accept watever people told bout u. Cos u cant see ur own back. As for myself,im learning to understand myself better...n still learning..
Anyway im starting to blabbering shits...so i better go to bed now..

Label: People = shit
He = ego (VERY ego)
kepale angen = lurve
Lynn = cute :)

A new friend found.

2009-09-19T23:49:00.001+08:00

THE ShiniGummies.

Label: 07/09/09

2009-08-12T01:15:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 5th ANNIVERSARY, ma dear....

G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra

2009-08-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

I give the new muvee G.I. Joe 2 thumbs up...rating 10/10. It was damn awesome..u ppl shld watch it. Starring Channing Tatum...hes HOT damn it. Starring also from Step up2. Anyway..i was off today..not workin on both murnin n night jobs. Thought of goin for ma check up n cdc after tat bt didnt noe tat i can actually have a long slip. I actually woke up ard 8plus nearly 9pm in the evening. For gawd sake..ma sis thought tat sumtink happen to me. lols..hmm...tmr will be workin on both jobs..10am-4pm and den at night 6pm-2am....gonna get exhausted at the end of the week..dunno till when i cn keep up wit it.
Bout last friday....went to zouk for the Volcom event..was not tat happening as i expected it to be..deres a few pics we took..

2009-08-07T06:10:00.000+08:00

hey people....
im back blogging. Didnt get to update stuff recently due to very busy schedule throughout the past weeks. Aniway ma network is back to normal onli late last month. (so if dere ppl out dere who assumes tat i go on bloghop n bein hatetaggers den its stoopid of u. DumbAss!! bLuekK.) I have edit ma blogskin and i onli came to realise tat i forgot to put up the tagboard. And tats when i tot of sumtink...Not sure whether to make ma blog private or dun put up the tagboard on it...either ways i dun mind.hmm...i will update more when days to cum. IF onli im free. Ever since im jungling with 2 jobs, life been very busy. Busy making money...hahaha...guess till here den.

Label: will be attending 'VOLCOM in the jungle' event at Zouk tmr nite..
im so excited..raWk ON! \m/

2009-08-03T02:12:00.000+08:00

Running Away

I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be
And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
Why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Cause I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?
Is it me, is it you
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?...
What is it I've got to say...
So why are you running away?...
To make you admit you're afraid...
Why are you running away?

Label: bring me wit euu...

Life will never be the same..

2009-03-16T12:12:00.002+08:00

Was fighting back all those tears throughout the whole night. Trust myself tat i have let it go. But the pain is just too real. The place which took me to where we have started. It all happen 7 years ago...those were the days i took it for granted. Taking granted of her love because i trust her for not leaving ma life. I didnt cherish and treasure her till she left me. Then i realised, how much i really do love her. Its only i realised after she left. Why? And i noe it was a little too late. I just didnt noe how to show how much i do love her back then. But i noe..deep in me i truly love tis woman tat i didnt noe how to show it. The woman tat i always look up on, the woman tat i used to call sister like ma own flesh and blood. The feeling of she leaving me is the same way how i felt for blaming myself for ma dad to leave me. The grieves tat i still hold on to these days..life wont be the same like how it used to be..cause i cant find pieces of me left. And she is my pieces of me.
How i wish last night, i would just hold on to her. Just hold on to her and never let it go..promises tat we made..she made, was in vain. All was such a lie...L...............I..............E........LIE!!!!
With the weather like tis...i just felt like locking in ma room, watching as the rain pours heavily and just cry throughout the whole day.if tats make me ok.

bad hair day..

2009-03-10T18:56:00.002+08:00

Juz came back from ma haircut. WTF!! its damn short..really really short. Didnt expect the outcome to be like tis. Guess i look more 'rebellious' with tis new haircut. Hoping adan will like ma new look..

wisdom tooth.

2009-03-05T16:30:00.002+08:00

If i knew tat the pain would be killing me...i would go for ma operation..
FARK! The pain is killing me day by day..

girls day out.

2009-03-05T15:44:00.008+08:00

These are the photos tat we took during the outing last sunday. Most of the girls cant make it.

fun with the girls..

2009-03-02T15:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a great whole day with the girls..ex secondary class mates. Bringing us the old times back together. Actually im getting sick of tis 3D thingy..saturday watched 'My Bloody Valentine 3D' with adan. Den yesterday with the girls at sentosa, we tried the 4D cineblast on the log ride. hahaks...so much for 3D. Will upload the pics soon. Later i'll be workin at 6pm. Urggh!...malas nye..

Label: Girls can be the biggest bitch at times.CORRECTION..ALL the times..

girls can be BITCH at times.correction.ALL the time.

2009-02-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

Goin out later with adan to town..aniway i bought eclipse yesterday. Tat was the last piece tat they got. I'm lucky enough to have it and so glad. Tomorrow outing with 4T1 and 4T2 girls is on..too bad hernie cant make it. Shes out of town with family. It been fews years since i last saw the rest of girls...Will update more. Gotta go right now..

Label: Missing sumone...badly.
Hernie, einn, ika, fai, imah, aisya, hanisah, eiyra, kak noii and dad.

2009-02-25T19:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people.
But you never forget them.
And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.
~hernie; from her post on 25th February 2009

I agreed what hernie wrote. No matter the person walked out from your life and left you, i still have the person in ma heart. Truely...maybe its juz the memories tat gave me the strength to move on. Her presents still lingers with me and tats still hurting me. Things happen for a reason i guess. People cum and go in life...
-in the memory of Kak noii

Label: Thank you, mr. Sunshine for being good to me. I had ma tanning in the end.

The List.

2009-02-25T11:36:00.002+08:00

Decided to go for tan at last. Suppose to go gym with einn but since the sun is out so decided to go sentosa finally. Please mr. Sunshine...be good to us. The weather been nt very good tis few days..unpredictable i can say. Deres lots of stuff i want to buy tis month...the list will juz go on and on. The thing i really need now is MONEY!!..bahh!

THE LIST.
1. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn (novel by Stephenie Meyer)
2. New clothes. (really need to change ma wardrobe)
3. New pair of bikini
4. Mobile phone
5. New pair of slippers. (i realise i been pinjaming my bro's adidas)
And the list go on and on.........

Label: saw JACOB BLACK at ma work place....yea its him. haha.

She make me goes Gaga...

2009-02-11T14:59:00.001+08:00

Im so in love with Stefani Germanotta. Also known as her fame name, Lady Gaga. Shes a singer and a song writer herself. Shes only 23 and gawd sake....shes earning more at her age. Rawk ON babe!!
Words just cant describe her...shes HOT, madNESS, voluptuous and hell drop dead GORGEOUS.

Label: Shes MINE.

Entertain myself..

2009-02-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

---------------

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Ain't It Pretty

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Just Feel Better

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Lollipop

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Closer

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Go On Girl

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Innocence

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Always Be My Baby

WHAT IS 2+2?
When I Grow Up

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Cookie Jar (haha...hell yea!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Forgive Me

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Live Your Life

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Don't Cry

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Superior

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Because Of You

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Candy Love (WTF!!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My Immortal *laughing out LOUD*

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I'll Never Love Again

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Return The Favour

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Tired Of Being Sorry

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
I Caught Myself

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Taking Over Me

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Lost Without You

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Great Escape

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Circus

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
One Last Dance

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Dangerously In Love (hahahaaha....)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Blind (Damn CB!)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Everything

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
I kissed A Girl (hmm....)

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, WHEN YOU MEET YOUR BOSS?
Everybody's Fool

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Love Lockdown

-This thing is fun man. I was laughing my way till the last one.
You people shld post tis and try..for sure u gonna laugh ur heads off...

2009-01-29T14:51:00.003+08:00

Rihanna - rehab

Baby, baby
When we first met
I never felt something so strong
You were like my lover
And my best friend
All wrapped into one
With a ribbon on it
And all of a sudden
When you left
I didn't know how to follow
It's like a shot
That spun me around
And now my heart left
I feel so empty and hollow

And I'll never give myself to another
The way I gave it to you
Don't even recognize
The ways you hit me
Do you?
It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back
And you're the one to blame

And now I feel like, oh
You're the reason
Why I'm thinking
I don't wanna smoke on
These cigarettes no more
I guess that's what I get
For wishful thinking
Should've never let you into my door
Next time you wanna go on and leave
I should just let you go on and do it
Cause now I'm using like I bleed
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
It's like I checked into rehab
Baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease
I gotta check into rehab
'Cause baby you're my disease

Damn,
Ain't it crazy
When you're loveswept
You'll do anything
For the one you love
'Cause anytime
That you needed me
I'd be there
It's like
You were my favorite drug
The only problem is
That you was using me
In a different way
That I was using you
But now that I know
That it's not meant to be
You gotta go
I gotta wean myself off of you

Label: you dont deserve..

watever u like, u like....

2009-01-29T13:57:00.001+08:00

Farkin hangover. I hate tis feelin..blah blah blah blah blah blah........la la la la la la la la.....

insomnia

2009-01-24T17:09:00.002+08:00

You will start to cherish when its gone...its a little too late.
I miss you so badly kaknoi..

Label: INSOMNIA...i cant sleep till ur next to me..

One last dance..

2009-01-15T15:18:00.002+08:00

Last nite was awesome. Fai, u shld have come, gurl. It would be much more fun if you were to be dere. Will be working later at 6. Im so damn lazy to get up from ma bed now..urggh. Should i juz pai-tao keje again?..shit!

Label: Just one dance....and I left thinking bout him.

blood..

2009-01-14T15:50:00.002+08:00

Im gettin better i guess but last nite after work, ma sore throat and running nose was damn terrible. WORSE!. Juz woke up aniwae..by ma fon. Fir called. Yea..of course! Tonight is CONFIRM. hahaks..sheesh..ma damn bloody nose n throat bleed. fark!.again.
Till here i guess..

Label: How i wish Fai could make it tonight...without u means no fun laa babe.

TOP 10 countdown.

2009-01-12T23:33:00.016+08:00

These are ma TOP 10 countdown hotties..

10. VJ Utt.9. Adam Brody (The OC)8. Robert Pattinson (Twilight Movie) 7. Gerard Butler (p.s I Love You)6. Justin Timberlake5. Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United soccer player)4. Saif Ali Khan (Salaam Namaste)3. Vin Diesel -Pitch Black. (i always tot he n Maurice townsell from janice dickinson modelling agency look the same) 2. Jesse Matcalfe -Desperate Housewives n John Tucker Must Die movie 1. Enrique Iglesias (He is ma all time favourites..gosh isnt hes gorgeous.)

Label: RANDOM.

gettin better i guess.

2009-01-12T13:35:00.002+08:00

Juz woke up with a throbbing head,a bad cough and sore throat and even lost my voice. My body temperature is goin down already so its a good sign. Suppose to work today but i told ma manager tat im on mc. Thanks to apen shes covering ma shift today. Later den, i kol up kak noi. Its good to noe tat shes doin gud. She even noe tat im nt feelin well even though i didnt tell her anitink..wanted to ask her out but nahh...better dont. Yea shes the one who i kept thinkin off lately. I been missing her so badly..

Label: Loving sumone doesnt mean you have to say 'i love you'.
Loving sumone means you have to sacrifice and giving up
for his/her happiness..

Hoping to make me sleepy

2009-01-11T10:02:00.001+08:00

100 Facts About Me

FIRST THINGS FIRST
1.Full Name: Azlini bte Ahmad Said
2.Nicknames: lynn
3.Age: 21 tis cumin sept
4.Gender: Female
5.Where do You Live: Chai Chee Ave
6.Relationship status: Single
7.Siblings: 3 elder sisters n a younger brother
8.Pets: kOokie ma pet hamster.
9.Screen name: Jellybean.

APPEARANCE
11.Hair Color: im colour blind.
12.Hair length: SHOULDER LENGTH
13.Eye Color: DARK BROWN
14.Height: 1.54 since i last check last 3yrs
15.Piercings: 2 on each ear n eyebrow(nose bridge cumin soon)
16.Tattoos: cumin soon...*EXCITED*
17.Shoe Size: 7
18.Jeans Size:29
19.Make-Up: NO NO for me.natural beauty..menyampah!
20.Dye Your Hair: Yes

MY FAVORITES
21.Food: fark.i love chinese cuisine.
22.Drink: smue aku sebat.
23.Color: black n grey.
24.Store: 7-11 its a STORE n more.
26.Kind Of Alcohol: liquor n whisky..
27.Ice Cream Flavor: KOOKIES&CREAM
28.Book: too much to mention. I love to read.
29.Season: Summer30.Video Game: hmmm.....

HAVE YOU EVER?
31.Smoked a cigarette: yea
32.Done Any Drugs: hmm...
33.Gotton Drunk: haha..occassionally.
34.Gone Skinny Dipping: WTF! Hell no!
35.Bonged a beer: bonged? a beer?
36.Had Sex: next question pls..
37.Kissed Same Sex: YES.
38.Done Anything Sexual With Same Sex: french kissing yes but more den tat..NO!
39.Eaten Sushi: yea
40.Broken A Bone: NEVER.

DO YOU/ARE YOU
41.Like Your Handwriting: never been.
42.Have Any Bad Habits: i guess so
43.Hate Yourself: Always.
44.Shy: i am shy..
45.Tolerant Of Others: depends
46.Aggressive Or Passive: more to aggressive..hmm..i tink BOTH.
47.Have A Journal: YUP
48.Emotionally Strong: 5050
49.Read The News Paper: haha no.
50.Confident: 70/100

VIEWS AND BELIEFS
51.Is There A God:YEPP
52.Does He Have A Gender: ask ur fuckin mother uh. maybe she will knows..
53.Do Ghosts Exists: nope.havent seen yet.
54.What About Witches: NO.
55.Miracles: if u believe,den dere is.
56.What Do You Think About Abortion?: nabei! try cutting u into pieces,u like it!?
57.Premarital Sex: its normal nowadays
58.Life On Other Planets: NO
59.Porn: juz for entertainment
60.Cosmetic Surgery: bloody faker!

CAN YOU
61.Sing Well: no
62.Play An Instrument: guitar
63.Write Well: YEAH
64.Skateboard: sucks.
65.Take A Shot Without A Chaser: no i take a chaser without a shot..
66.Say the Alphabet Backwards: *TRIP*
67.Snow Board: no
68.Juggle: yea
69.Do A Split: no
70.Draw: no

THE FUTURE
71.Plan On Marriage: never thought of tat
72.Kids: ADOPTION...love kids
73.And Their Names: danial for boy n hannie for girl.
74.Occupation: jobless.
75.Where You Want To Live: living in with a mother nature surroundings..
76.Big Or Small House: average n humble.
77.Do You Want To Live Near People: if possibles
78.Long Driveway Or Short: anytink will do
79.Income: AM STILL SAVING80.Cars: mini coOper..but i still want ma VESPA

THIS/THAT
81.Walmart/Target: none
82.Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
83.Night/Day: NIGHT
84.McDonalds/Burger King: CARLS JR!!!!
85.Cats/Dogs: BOTH..i love animals..
86.Fruits/Veggies: FRUITS
87.Pillows/Blankets: BOTH
88.Pepsi/Coke: no diff laa fark.
89.Alcohol/Weed: alcohol
90.Reading/Writing: READING

RANDOM
91.Biggest Fear: The judgement day.
92.Compliment You Get Often: dunno..u tell me
93.What Would You Change About Yourself: why shld i?. a gift from god.
94.Regrets: hah!...hell yea..god knows how it feels
95.Gotten Arrested: those were the times man
96.Are You Ticklish: VERY.
97.Longest Relationship: 4yrs..fark!
98.How Much TV Do You Watch: been labeled a POTATO COUCH
99.What color is your bedroom: monday blues100.Are you happy: for wat!? siaow!

I tagged.
1. Hernie belo
2. Fai Cawan
3. zahirah
4. kecik
5. ika legong

down with high fever.

2009-01-11T08:28:00.002+08:00

Why the hell am i still awake at tis hour?. Yea i juz came back from work. Went late supper
with ______(fill the blank) after work. Reached home and cant get any sleep. Started with a sore throat 2days back. Last night at work started to cough blood den now temperature gettin higher and bloody running nose.fark. Shivering the whole body. Used to have sumone taking care of me when im in tis condition. Yea and i been missin tat sumone so dearly lately...
........................................................TRIP..................................................................

Alrite ma brain was dead for like half an hour. Trip sekejap. Wanted to update so much stuff but i forgot..blame ma fever. Need ma fags.BADLY.

Label: S.L.O.W. reaction..

its still early..

2009-01-08T15:10:00.002+08:00

Last night was awesome with fai. Really enjoyed myself, babe. Guess everyone cant take their eyes off us. We rock the dancefloor yaw....bitchyy!..lols.
Anyway tomorrow gotta get back to work. Which is im not in the mood to work after for 3days of off days..huuhuu..my gawd. But never mind i still wanna cum work so i can see_______(fill up the blank). hehee *grin*
I been goin around all bookstores finding for the Twilight novel but unfortunately all stores in spore was OUT OF STOCK. fark! The stocks will cum in only on February. Sorie herny..i really cant get tat book. Next month i hope.

Label: That '1dollar guy' is so freakin annoying..farker!

its a little too late..

2009-01-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

In the murnin send adan off. I wanted so much to send him off all the way to tekong. But i cant cos i have to go work later.Gawd..i was damn nervous when i got to mit up with his parents. They are so cool. Not like what i expect them to be..thank god. I wonder how it feels like to go for national service..hmm..nice. Anyway..Fai, i really cant wait for tomorrow okay. We gonna party all nite long babe. And ya not to forget also, i been missing someone so badly lately..someone used to be so special..

Label: I guess its still too early...hmm. I got love lockdown..bahh!

real soon..

2008-12-30T02:03:00.003+08:00

2days off is never enuf for me. Workin in the evening later..new year eve gotta work. Fark! Cant escape on christmas eve and now new year eve. The following week got to take more off days. Have to attend family functions and have to send adan off. Yess.....sending him off to tekong. Urggh! And tats mean im gonna mit up with his family soon. His dad gonna flyin back to spore. So tats mean all his family gonna see me. sheesh..im abit nervous bout tat actually. Mitin up with his family.hmm....i dunno how its gonna be when adan not around. Shit. I hate tis feelin.

Label: I wanna have Twilight novel by Stephenie Meyer..for the exchange gift event..plss.

damn it!

2008-12-22T18:31:00.001+08:00

ALRIGHT PEOPLE....I CANT DO ANY OUTGOING CALLS OR TEXT MESSAGES...
Just call me up if deres anitink aite..

NOt feeling well.

2008-12-20T13:53:00.002+08:00

Wake up with a sore throat and dizzy and aching the whole body..i dun really feel tat well. Maybe overwork ma body i guess. Today im doin opening till 3am in the murnin. Dunno if i can survive till midnight. Im off tomorrow at last. I dun feel like turnin up for work today for god sake i juz feel like lying on ma bed now and juz close ma eyes..
Aite den..gotta get up ma ass go shower and get ready for work.urggh!

CRISIS!!!

2008-12-19T04:46:00.001+08:00

Came to work with still hangover juz now..wth! Lucky for me i never got fark. Yea i was damn tired and sleepy all. Juz reached home juz now like 4am. Both ma legs is like jelly already,cant even stand or walk properly. Tis week schedule, i'll be workin all the way till Saturday...so i had only 1day off for tis week. Its like wtf..workin 6days per week its like hell out of me. Back at home, situation gettin worse..crisis after crisis..no improvement. Felt like all the burden was on ma shoulder now..im really lost and hanging..dunno wat to do next. Juz takin one step at a time, facing everytink alone.

Label: Missing sumone used to be special..

giving up...too sick n tired of everything.

2008-12-17T16:19:00.001+08:00

Work was horrendous..when times was boring..its too boring. When it came to busy days it was hell out of the time. I only have 1day off for tis week. NO time for anyone..even myself. Guess tis is the way to make myself occupy. I really in need of cash to pay of all ma bills..at times i juz feel like ripping ma heart open and juz yell out of ma lungs. Felt as if the world is spinning around me and tat i cant move on..too sick and tired of everytink..EVERYTINK. Got to get ma ass up. Im workin today for god sake and im still sleepy and tired. Till here den..

Label: Guess im goin powerhouse tonight despite im tired n sleepy all.
I think i really need tis one night to ease off..

zoukOUT!!..

2008-12-13T15:00:00.000+08:00

Last nite was a day of a hell out of me..its my first day workin on weekend. So damn tiring. I was doin alone most of the time at the back alley. Its like imagine myself in the game of 'diner dash'. Ya so today i escape. I ask for off cos im goin zoukOUT tonite. Tomorrow i will be doin opening..urgghh. I really need a few days off for god sake. My whole body is aching like hell.

Label: Sorie aisha, promise u tis weekend gonna mit u up but ya i cant. Next week i hope..
Gonna learnt bartender soon...soon i guess.

damn tiring..

2008-12-10T15:40:00.002+08:00

Last night was ma first day of work at acid bar. It was damn tiring..running here and dere to serve customers. But it was fun though..nice people around. I yet to be adjust with the new environment. Never been working at night before till late murnin, so i have to get used to it soon.

Label: Well i guess ill be goin to zoukOUT...
Issit too late?..

DONE.at last..

2008-12-08T19:34:00.000+08:00

Finally im done with everytink. Tis blog thingy..from the skin to url..all messed up.
What would you feel when deres a phsyco out dere on loose. And worse more..hes stalkin you. Its madness..now from madness to PARANOID. Urggh!

SICK in the head.

2008-12-08T17:17:00.002+08:00

PHSYCO!!!!..........its killing me.
Anyway i changed ma blogskins again..deres sometink wrong with the url in the previous skin. Ya i noe i kept changing it..ya so here it is.

Label: ZoukOUT! shld i or shldnt i??....

thanks dear..

2008-12-06T22:25:00.003+08:00

Tis mornin went visit late daddy with adan..thanks dear. Suppose to bring ma boifey aan to orchard to see the christmas lightings at night but instead we stayed at home cos its raining. Urggh! damn bored laa..tomorrow hes goin back to his dad side. Thats mean i will be seeing him the following week again..

Label: Tis is wat we do when we hv webCAM...its webCAM whoring w ma boifey aan.

tats we called B.O.R.E.D.O.M.

2008-12-03T22:13:00.009+08:00

Label: webCAM whoring...eiyra and her brO acap and ME.lols..

Bump into fai cawan juz now...gawd..how much i realise i miss her loads..hugs is not enuf babe. Must go out together soon aite..really miss ma papi culo..

missing daddy..

2008-12-03T14:13:00.004+08:00

I dreamt bout late dad last 2 nights..something which is i dont understand. The first time i dreamt bout him, tat was so long already. In ma dream, dad kept calling me and i ran to him..but as i ran closer to him he kept further and fading away from me. And then he juz disappeared. But before he disappear i heard him said tis to me..' you never treasure me'..the last two nights tat i dreamt, what i could remember was tat, he was in bed with me by his side. I know he couldnt make it..he told me to leave but i want him to noe tat i will always by his side wadever happens. And before he took his last breath, he said..'help me'...
I remember tis nigthmare thingy always bring me bad luck in the end. I remembered the times when i dreamt bout me and kaknoii. Sumthing bad happen between us...and its true that she leave me for someone else..

Back at home...bread and maggi for ma every meal. Thank god i never gone hungry for the past few days..Being jobless..pennyless...its really hard. Hernie..jOm rompak bank same2.

Label: Thanks to adan, he will bring me to visit late dad tis weekend, thanks dear.

2008-11-28T23:46:00.001+08:00

Im happy for fatt today...we did sumhow makeover her. She never wore a formal dress before..with heels..4inch. Thats make her so feminine. Simple yet elegant...Pics that we took during the operation.

Credits:

eynah - makeup artist by bobby brown

lynn & eiyra - fashion police
lynn - hairstylist

you wont understand..

2008-11-28T14:01:00.001+08:00

Cant sleep last night. After subuh prayers..ma eyes is wide awake..guess i think too much....thinking....

At the first place i should have know that its comin. The day i knew theres someone i new came between us. It all happen so sudden. I couldnt bring myself to hold on to her. Cos i know that she used to love me and only me and i took granted for that. I always believe that she would only love me and no one or anything can come between us. I didnt have the chance to tell her how much she really meant to me. The day she walked out from ma life, i knew that everyday i gonna wake up knowing that the person i love most dont exists anymore. And it feels damn horrible...
The one that always gave you hope and encouragement to live your life is the one whom leave you and claim that she dont want to do anything that got to do with you anymore. Hows that suppose to sound? Sweet....
Dont ever put on high hopes to anyone when you yourself cant fulfill it. Dont ever say you love me and only me when all of that is juz another lie.

LOve dOesn't Just MeaN sayinG I love yOu to someoNe...
LOve is love eveN withOut sayinG anythinG...
LoVE is alsO saCrifice..
It alsO meanS keepiNg quite fOr eacH Other sakes..
LOvinG isn't merely possessing...
Love is alsO givinG up your Own happiness fOr someOne else happinesS...

I do really hope that your happy with what you have now. I do always have you in ma prayers..

Label: tears that i shed day and night cos of her wont change anything...

had a great day.

2008-11-27T23:54:00.002+08:00

It was fun today...shop for fatt's accesories for her graduation night tomorrow. We went for threading. Anyway fatt never had her eyebrow trim,pluck or thread before.(pssst..shes a goody goody type gurl.) So we forced her. Cant really wait for her extreme makeover tomorrow. Hmmm....yea. Im so excited for her.

my immortal - evanescence

2008-11-25T12:47:00.000+08:00

My Immortal

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behindyour face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

issit a mistake?

2008-11-24T02:23:00.000+08:00

People change as time goes by..be it go or bad. Your love ones wont leave you by the strand when you needed them the most. They promise you with moon and stars...in other words they promise you that they will love you and only you but in the end they leave you. and the best part is that they got a replacement. Round of applause..hah.

Whatever happens in life, if its not gonna kill you, its gonna make you strong..and you gonna stand up stronger.

Label: You dunno what you got till its gone...if its gone it gone forever..

tried to be strong..

2008-11-23T18:39:00.000+08:00

Yea..im abit stronger now. As in mentally stable. After talkin to Hernie, im cheer up abit..guess maybe its true bout the 'nasi kangKang'..haha..ya i noe Hernie talkin crap. I believe in karma..what goes around comes around..i noe i never do anitink wrong. People juz dun have to curse me or sumtink. You people better watch ur own farkin ass rather den go around hurting others feelings..GET A LIFE damn it!..hah..i hope ur happy with what you have now. HAPPY!? Fark urself den! Im done.