I dunno what went wrong wit me. i dun even noe whats wrong wit me. i need you bt i dun want anyone to be around me. i wanna be alone.bt i dun think so i can be left alone. wtf!! just whats wrong wit me?...why am i reacting this way?
.................
finally.....i manage to let it out everything. i dunno how long i been holding up these tears. i just cant do this animore..i miss him so badly. the love that i dun get it in return. our love came from different frequency i can say. i believe he wont understand the meaning behind it. never will. why? why you have to betray it. i love you more den i love anything else in this world. i dun even care if one day you would beat me up till i'm dying to bleed. atleast i noe that i live to love you. but why?loving two women at the same time? will that satisfy you. how i wish my late sweetheart is still breathing..wishing that when i look at her,its like seeing you in another form. i always said that,she will have your round alluring eyes,your nose,ears and as naughty as you. so seeing her everytime will make me feels that ure still around me. everyday of my daily life is all bout you. how could i even living it everyday without you out of my mind. i was wrong. i'm not strong enough to do this. i put a false front just to make myself feel okay. so no one could annoyed me everytime when they asked bout me. every night, either you would just read me bedtime stories or sing me lullaby and cradle me to sleep. i know....i was too pampered by you. but knowing that your love was shared with another woman, where am i? which part of your heart that i been placed? YOU'RE THE MAIN PERSON THAT CREATED HATRED!!. its sucks to be in the situation where, you love someone whole heartedly but you just cant be with him/her. Why??...why god created LOVE if love never exist. :')
Label: i wish that you would just leave, cos your presence still lingers here....
Have you ever did something tat you dun wish to do but you left wit no choice but you have to? If loving him is letting him go,.....yes im letting him go. How amazing i can still love him wit whats left of tis little pieces of my heart. I wish he knew tat deep in me, deres a part of me still thinking of him. I knew last nite, the decision i took.......was something i knew i cant turn and look back. I juz cant stand any dissapointing faces. Not animore.
Every morning waking up, looking at you how peacefully you were asleep, smile and reminding myself that how greatful i am that GOD send me sumone like you. This i promise you that i'll love you wit whats left of me,wholeheartedly. i love you...baby. :')
Label: sweetheart...how mummy wish tat ure still around..
Its tomorrow!! the day tat i been waiting for...i was overwhelm by myself. Could not believe tat i really manage to make it. I am so excited to see you.
Label: to be in your arms after so long.....what can i ask more,tats where i feel so secure and longing.♥
I wanna live in a BIG cottage house wit a balcony that have a lake in the view where i can have breakfast wit my husband, a garden where my babies could chase my cats and rabbits around and a cosy living room for me to wait for my husband to come back home from work...
baby....take me wit you. take me to anywhere we could leave everything behind. for all i knew, we are happy together till we turn old and grey.
Label: i wld like my babies to have curly brown hair, rosy cheeks and pink lips. Cute!
I can see tat i'm managing well and gettin better in times to come. Spending most of my time loads wit all my gurfrens. Sorry bitches..i noe i been missing for quite sumtimes. its not sumtimes actually but ages. Anyway......tis few days i've been gettin myself so tight up and busy wit stuff. The point is, gettin myself shag and kept me frm thinking. Well.......i can say its pretty hard for me to handle tis and facing it. But yeah i manage to survive it. But the onli thing tat i got sick n tired of is...having to do the same routine every 4hrs of my day.urggh! i noe it sick rite.
Label: feel so good to be positive. Prolly i've never been.. :)
I believe it now. everything happen for a reason. god is great. HE must have a reason behind all tis. truth hurts. yes it is. stab deeply right through my heart. i'm falling all apart. lost and confused. i'm picking myself up. bit by bit. pieces by pieces. now all i can do is to keep praying and hv faith in him. cos i know he will guide me and give me the strength to face it.
GOD heard my prayers.......and send me an angel from above. :')
tis angel got closed. not to me but to my heart.
and tis angel is no other but...
you.
p.s. Baby darling..i know you love me as how much i love you. mummy sorry tat i put you thru tis. You must be one of a kind tat hes taking you wit him. I believe there's an angel up there is looking after you.wit love,mummy.
Everytime when you look at me with love in your eyes and how much you adore me,
I look at you, asking, how lucky i am to have you in my life. Someone that love me more than i love myself. He's someone that i'm sure to be my faithful husband in future to come. You pick up the little pieces of my heart that what is left. This i promise you.....that i will love you till my last breath.
Label: don't worry sweetheart, mummy here and sure that everything gonna be alright. ♥
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right, forgot about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason..
If u got the second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
XXXXX
Weird how i wrote this in my own blog on my left column. Now it really reflects back to me. Well...prolly i have to accept the facts now that, the one that i love the most is the one that gonna hurt me the most. How amazing..even with that little pieces of my heart, i can even love you whole heartedly.
frenchConnection watch.