Cant sleep last night. After subuh prayers..ma eyes is wide awake..guess i think too much....thinking....
At the first place i should have know that its comin. The day i knew theres someone i new came between us. It all happen so sudden. I couldnt bring myself to hold on to her. Cos i know that she used to love me and only me and i took granted for that. I always believe that she would only love me and no one or anything can come between us. I didnt have the chance to tell her how much she really meant to me. The day she walked out from ma life, i knew that everyday i gonna wake up knowing that the person i love most dont exists anymore. And it feels damn horrible...
The one that always gave you hope and encouragement to live your life is the one whom leave you and claim that she dont want to do anything that got to do with you anymore. Hows that suppose to sound? Sweet....
Dont ever put on high hopes to anyone when you yourself cant fulfill it. Dont ever say you love me and only me when all of that is juz another lie.
LOve dOesn't Just MeaN sayinG I love yOu to someoNe...
LOve is love eveN withOut sayinG anythinG...
LoVE is alsO saCrifice..
It alsO meanS keepiNg quite fOr eacH Other sakes..
LOvinG isn't merely possessing...
Love is alsO givinG up your Own happiness fOr someOne else happinesS...
I do really hope that your happy with what you have now. I do always have you in ma prayers..
Label: tears that i shed day and night cos of her wont change anything...
It was fun today...shop for fatt's accesories for her graduation night tomorrow. We went for threading. Anyway fatt never had her eyebrow trim,pluck or thread before.(pssst..shes a goody goody type gurl.) So we forced her. Cant really wait for her extreme makeover tomorrow. Hmmm....yea. Im so excited for her.
My Immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behindyour face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
People change as time goes by..be it go or bad. Your love ones wont leave you by the strand when you needed them the most. They promise you with moon and stars...in other words they promise you that they will love you and only you but in the end they leave you. and the best part is that they got a replacement. Round of applause..hah.
Whatever happens in life, if its not gonna kill you, its gonna make you strong..and you gonna stand up stronger.
Label: You dunno what you got till its gone...if its gone it gone forever..
Yea..im abit stronger now. As in mentally stable. After talkin to Hernie, im cheer up abit..guess maybe its true bout the 'nasi kangKang'..haha..ya i noe Hernie talkin crap. I believe in karma..what goes around comes around..i noe i never do anitink wrong. People juz dun have to curse me or sumtink. You people better watch ur own farkin ass rather den go around hurting others feelings..GET A LIFE damn it!..hah..i hope ur happy with what you have now. HAPPY!? Fark urself den! Im done.
Slipped Away
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Na na na na na na na
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me
cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fakeIt happened, you passed by
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same no..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same...
Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you..
Label: Appreciate what u have now cos' you dunno what u got till it's gone..Been dere done that.
Thanks for spoiling ma day and all thanks to kak noii..Yes its KAK NOII! Have you had enough of hurting me? Hadnt you? You dont want me to post wadever that happen between us. Now im telling you that im gonna post farkin everytink down..who cares..Anyway tis is ma farkin blog, ma farkin life. Why must people need to tell me what am i suppose to post and whats not?. Juz get a life damn it. You got what you want dont you? ANNA is farkin special and precious and thats why you feel offended when i wrote down bout her from ma previous post..tellin me, you hating what im doin..now im telling you im farkin hate you now!
And please.....i beg you. Stop hurting me. I had enough of tis. We are done.
Label: Well zahira,u told me to change ma blog to private..i dun need to.Lets make it to public wadever happens in ma personal life..
Label: Credits to ma photographer, hernieEdited by me.Seriously im brain dead now. Cant get any sleep. Eating lesser n lesser each day, barely i can say. Anyway, im at ma sis place for few days. Got to babysit her cats. The whole family gone for holiday so im all alone at her place. Dun really wanna talk bout what happen lately..between me and adan..its so frustrating. Chances after chances....no changes at all. Juz giving him another chance i guess. Suddenly the thoughts of kak noii keeping me low in spirits again. I think alot bout her lately..juz missing her being around. I dunno how she could do it. Found someone new as ma replacement and move on with tat girl. Well, juz want you to noe tat you cant be me and farkin act like you're me, spoilt bitch!. You can never be farkin me!. Period.
In your everyday life, i believe people will come and go...and they will be gone forever. Even the one that you love most is the one whom will hurt you the most..words juz cant describe it.
Great. Sumtinks wrong with ma lappy and mobile. I really need NEW a lappy and mobile phone. Unfortunately, i been labeled a full time potato couch now. I really need a job. Its farkin damn frustrating. Crisis back at home with me no reasons to escape from ma place..urggh!. Adan been workin and so..so deres no one to accompany me. Shit. I really need to find a solution to tis. Which is i still dun do anitink bout it...seriously i dunno what and how am i suppose to do..dear GOD, please help me.
Firstly wanna wish Happy 20th Birthday to HERNY NATRA bte MOHD JOHA...haha..
Had fun with her juz now. We went to have waffles at billy bombers at The Cathay. Thought of goin for Ben&Jerry's waffles but we changed our mind. Tis few days been doin some research about where to get nice waffles in spore..One day both of us shld do survey of where to get the nicest waffles in town.
List of cafe/restaurant:
-Channging Appetite
-Galare-Billy Bombers-Waffletown
-New York New York-Ben&Jerry's
Juz came back home. Went for movie with adan. We watched rec. The show damn not worth it..after tat straight back home. Notink much today. Oh yess, i did went changi women prison today in the murnin but den unfortunately couldnt got in cos i didnt bring along 2nd sis birthcert. She changed her id so tats why its hard to claim tat i am related to her..fark the law. Aniway....good luck to aisha. Shes goin in camp tomorrow murnin..you better take care of urself when ur dere aite. Sorie i didnt get to send you off..
Label: Gonna miss my pabuto...
Last night went out with adan for supper after aisha's gathering at her place. Nearly met an accident otw to orchard..fuck tat cabby. AGAIN. Juz now in the afternoon, having a 'jamming session' at ma place. Tis time with kecik and mOn along. Today suppose to visit 2nd sis but last minute cancel. So tat means tomorrow murnin have to wake up early to accompany 2nd sis bf..till here i guess.
Wake up late today. Was awake by aan at 530pm juz now. My nephew is back for the weekend after so long. Im down with diarrhoea again..not sure wat i ate. But wat i could remember is tat i barely had anitink tis few days cos ma appetite is not very good. So i dunno wats wrong with me. Aniway 2nd sis bf came home..I was surprised. No one told me bout him. Was told tat his sentence was till yesterday. So tat means he was out from prison only yesterday morning..great. Thought tat i could start club training back tomorrow but...i think the rest were juz plain lazy to go so i guess i dunno when i'll be goin den..till here.
VINTAGE vespa.
Cristiano Ronaldo will be my husband in yrs to come.
a bar code tattoo on the back of ma neck,wrist or ma love handle will be nice.
i got one so i tot it would be nice if i pierce another side by side.
Kewlness!! I wanna pierce back again on ma lips.
Getting new hair look. I love her hair. Dawn richardson from fireflight band.
These are some of ma wishlist. But i dun tink i could have it....great.
My previous skin was totally in a mess. So i change it again. Things still the same back at home. Boring. No skewl. No work. As much as i want to avoid being at home, i got no reason for me to be out from home. This few days i been thinking alot bout 2nd sis. I guess i miss her not being around. She will be out soon like another 2months from now. Not to forget also,i miss
kaknoi,aan,einn,sherLYNN,.....and the list will go on..
For FIR,i hope ur doing good. Take care of your health aite. DONT skip ur meals and remember to take ur med on time.
Loving you is what i'm trying to do,
but we know that it cannot be true.
Deep inside me you never know how i feel
and sad enough, you would never will.
You just walked out of my dreams,
cause' all along you know my heart is still with him.
When i'm sad you were there.
When i'm happy you were there.
When i'm angry you were there.
When i cry you were there.
When i laugh you were there.
When i need a hug you were there.
When i need someone to talk to you were there.
Things won't be the same again like what it used to be...
you're just a small part in a chapter of these fairytale..
and fairytale won't come true...it won't.
~lynn
Label: Tis is for ma sweet CARAMEL..i finish up where i stopped.
I found some of these photos in ma hard drive so thought of upload it. Juz sum random pics..
its me and madura.
lynn-alan-fir-liYing
wanie-san
oooh yeah...
Evanescence - Forgive Me
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt like I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
I'd give anything now
to hear those words from you
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.
'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.
And you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
I was shocked tat last night when adan told me tat his time is up. Hes going to serve ns like early next month and im mentally not well prepare for it. I dont think hes prepare for it also..I dunno whats goin happen. That mean its time for me to meet his parents..urggh! DAmn it. Honestly im not ready yet. Whats gonna happen? Im really nervous..
This few days i been thinkin alot bout kaknoi. I dunno why..how can she do it. As in forget bout us. Till now i still dont get the picture. Like why she wanna leave me for tat girl she juz noe for few mnths where else we been knowing each other for nearly 8yrs..She told me i dont give her a damn bout her. When i need her i would find her and when i dont i will juz ignore her. But tat doesnt mean i dont care bout her. I really miss you..
Label:Dear..,i hope mama gonna like me..
frenchConnection watch.
.jpg)
